Touch Hunger

Linda J. Smith, BSE, FACCE, IBCLC

Some babies have very high "touch hunger." Ashley Montagu describes the first 9-12 months postbirth as the time of "external gestation." I've experienced a child with a very high need for touch - who literally cannot or do not sleep unless they are touching another human body. You can either (1) cope with it, (2) rejoice in your ability to meet this child's unique needs, or (3) resent the situation and fight it. #3 is the worst choice for the baby, of course. In most of the world, continuous contact is the norm. Expecting otherwise is actually quite unrealistic, but a problem nevertheless where velcro babies are not the "cultural norm."

When I was a young mother, a wise La Leche League Leader in my area suggested I make the best of my high-touch-need baby and master the fine art of baby-wearing. (Thanks, Peggy Loyd.) Years later, I'm convinced that this type of child is probably very allergic and/or very intelligent. Mine was both. She attended a "magnet" school for gifted children in late elementary school. I met dozens of parents of very bright kids who described similar patterns in their babies. Does the smart child insist on all the skin contact they need to thrive? Or does the high-need child demand a lot of contact, which pushes their intelligence to extra-high levels?

I think I see this more often in girls than boys. I also see an exceptionally high need for oral and physical experiences in these children - years of breastfeeding, nursing all night, chewing on buttons and clothing, etc.

Touch your baby a LOT. It matters a lot.